Library  

Books:
We have a large number of books on various topics relating to loss of a baby. We have books for parents, grandparents, children, fathers and books relating to a future pregnancy after a loss. All of which you are more than welcome to borrow and read at your leisure. A list and brief description of these can be viewed below.

 

Leaflets:
We have some National SANDS leaflets, as well as a local SANDS leaflets, should you wish any sent to you, please apply to the Secretary.

Library of Books

A Rose In Heaven
Dawn Siegrist Waltman

Every year more than 800,000 women experience the overwhelming heartache of losing a child to miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death. Based on the Author's own journey of grief, hope, and healing following the stillbirth of her little girl, A Rose in Heaven touches the very core of a grieving mother by providing

- Understanding and empathy
- An ongoing sense of companionship and friendship
- Encouragement to face holidays and special occasions
- Reassurance of God's loving kindness
- The hope of heaven

 

Between Two Eternities
Rosemary Kay

It's just another cuddle. But somehow it's different. I suppose it's because all the horrid feelings are starting to melt. And for the very first time, she's calm, really deep down calm. Everything is going to be alright and she believes it. It's like we've been through a terrible storm with thunder and gales and snow and ice, and now it's over and the sun has just come out.

She breathes a big slow breath. She seams big and safe and sure. She isn't frightened to hold me any more. It feels like she knows what she's doing for the first time. I snuggle into her and I know that she's my real mummy. Not pretend, not anyone else's mummy. And I know that at last I'm really, really safe.

I look deep into her eyes and we both remember when I was in my Perfect Red Sea. How we were strong together, one inside the other, how we talked so no one else could hear. And we both feel that thin thread, pulling in my belly, pulling in her chest, pulling us close together.

Nurse Scurry was watching us and she smiled. 'That's what I like to see. Makes this job seem worth the effort!'

And mummy's big face beamed down at me. 'It's like holding ... it's like holding a real baby. I feel like a ... a real mother at last.' And I thought I felt her heart bursting.

 

An Empty Cradle A Full Heart
Christine O'Keeffe Lafser

"Bereavement after the loss of a baby is often quiet and lonely" writes Christine O'Keeffe Lafser, who has twice lost a child to death. "There is no wake or funeral, no grave site, no memorial to our baby' life or death... Since there are no real memories of our little one's life, people have a hard time comprehending the depth of our love and grief." In these reflections, Lafser offer grieving parents the empathy and courage that can come from only one who has walked the same difficult path.


Interventions with Bereaved Children
Susan C. Smith and Sister Margaret Pennells

The scope of this book covers the many possible approaches to working with bereaved children. The contributors draw on their wide-ranging experience of working with bereaved children in many different contexts to examine:

- methods, such as dramatherapy and play therapy
- various settings, such as working in schools, hospitals and residential environments
- group, individual and family work
- working under many different circumstances of bereavement
- working with adolescents.

The breadth of the contributors' backgrounds - among them are psychologists, social workers, teachers, play therapists and an actress - reflects the wealth of their differing approaches. Chapters on the Hillsborough Stadium disaster and on managing tragedy in a secondary school give very specific examples on grief work.

 

Helping Children Cope with Grief
Rosemary Wells

Every day many children lose someone close to them - a parent or grandparent, a brother or sister. Nothing can take away the pain of loss, but there is a great deal that a caring adult can do to avoid the long-term distress which can be caused by hidden fears and anxieties.

This book is for anyone who wants to help a child who is coping with grief - parents, teachers, nurses, doctors and friends. For the problems special to terminal illness or sudden death, for the misunderstandings that can arise from a well-meant remark, Rosemary Wells uses her insight and experience to give practical help and sympathetic advice.

 

Good Grief Rituals
Elaine Childs-Gowell

Finally, here is a practical book that shows us how to get through that most difficult and pervasive human experience. Step by step, we are shown how to cross it's dark valley and arrive safely at the golden light of a new dawn.

 

No Child in My Life
Regina Sara Ryan

No Child in My Life is for the reader who grieves the absence of a child, whether the loss was due to conscious choice or the result of tragic circumstance. Whatever the reason for the loss - giving up a child for adoption, infertility, miscarriage, loss of custody, or even death - the grieving reader will find practical guidance and spiritual nourishment in this book.

 

When Your Baby Dies
Louis A. Gamino and Ann Taylor Cooney

A comforting and practical book for parents grieving the death of an infant through miscarriage or stillbirth.

The experience of miscarriage or stillbirth is confusing and distressing. When Your Baby Dies offers honest and practical guidance for parents and other family members. Authors Louis A. Gamino and Ann Taylor Cooney draw on their experiences to provide gentle insights into the grief process, mourning and moving on.


A Candle for Lisa
Debbie Ruskin

Lisa Ruskin was born prematurely with serious heart defects. Still barely conscious from the general anaesthetic following the emergency Caesarian section, Debbie was badgered into giving her consent for her baby's life support system to be turned off. Later she learned that her child's organs had been retained by the hospital's pathology department.

This book is a poignant account of Lisa's life and death, the fight to discover the truth and Debbie's struggle to overcome her grief. Anyone who has experience the death of a child or been at the receiving end of medical negligence, insensitivity and or lies will find this a sad, but ultimately uplifting book. In at Lisa's flame continues to burn and its author hopes that some good will come out of her tragic death.


Losing a Child
Elaine Storkey

The loss of a child may happen in many different ways. But each lost child is precious. And behind each loss there is a grief. How can we cope with the shock and the pain?

Where can we turn for help? Who will answer the 'whys' and 'if onlys'?

This is a helpful, positive book. It faces pain; it also offer encouragement and hope.


A Caregivers Handbook to Perinatal Loss
Gary E. Vogel

Gary E. Vogel, M.A., N.C., received his B.A. in psychology from Florida Technological University, and his M.A. in education/psychotherapy from the University of Central Florida.

In private practice in Florida since 1978, he is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and a nationally certified counselor. He practices adolescent, family and relationship/marital therapy, and specializes in issues of addiction, abuse, stress/anxiety, acute and chronic depression, and grief and loss issues, especially pregnancy and infant loss.

In 1989, Gary and his wife, Kathy, experienced the full-term stillbirth of their daughter, Chelsea. For over five years, Gary has been facilitating a support group at Florida Hospital Orlando for couple who have suffered a pregnancy loss. He is the author of Pregnancy Loss... Finding the Light, published in 1995 by Childbirth Graphics. Gary has also done numerous in-service training programs for professional staff at hospitals and physician's offices. His public speaking topics include: Grief and Loss, Family Dynamics, Men's Issues, Self-Responsibility, Apathy: The Ultimate Addiction, Are You A Control Junkie? and Five Easy Rules for Effective Communication.


What Happens After Death
David Winter

Can we know anything sure about life beyond the grave?

What is heaven like?

Will there be a judgement?

This book explores the Bible's answers to questions of life and death.


Thomas - A lifetime Denied
Shelley Wilkinson

"As I walked away from the maternity department on the 22nd July 2000, I left behind my dreams and hope for the future, my faith in the medical professionals and most importantly my beautiful, much wanted and much loved baby boy.

Only days earlier I'd entered the unit with a live and healthy baby and now I was going home without him. All I had left was a carrier bag containing his photograph, a lock of hair and a copy of his footprints.

Contained in the pages of this book are a whole host of emotions, ranging from denial, devastation, guilt, anger and finally hope. I want to tell the world about my wonderful son. How his death left me heartbroken but also how, with time, his death changed the course of my life. He even touched the lives of family, friends and the medical professionals at my local hospital. In the immediate weeks and months after his death I never believed that our lives would ever be happy again. I never believed that our lives would ever be worth living without him. Over time I have learned to live without him. I think about him everyday but I remember him with love and pride and often with a smile on my face.
By opening my heart and telling my story I want to bring attention to the often taboo subject of stillbirth and I want to give hope to other families who find themselves at the start of this unbelievably lonely journey. I also want to highlight what can happen when the natural instincts of a labouring woman are ignored. How such a natural event can suddenly turn into a true emergency that can take the life of an innocent child and almost claim the life of his mother"

Alice - A Journey
Chrissy Merton

'Lying shaking on the scanning table, I was told the baby inside me had a 50-50 chance of survival. I was six months pregnant. Our baby would either live or die, and we had no way of finding out. If my life were a book, I'd flick to the end to see what happened. But I couldn't, I was entering uncharted territory.

The uncertainty continues through visits to King's College Harris Birthright Centre, and its brilliant, eccentric head: Professor Kypros Nicolaides. Chrissy Merton's compelling story takes you through all the emotions of her unusual pregnancy: fear, pain and uncertainty as well as laughter and intimacy. You won't be able to put this book down.

I Hate This - a play without the baby
David Hansen

David Hansen's one man play takes the audience through his experience of stillbirth. David's son Calvin was stillborn at thirty weeks, and David has found an honest, compelling, poignant and sometimes even humorous way to tell his story.
The play follows two strands, which intermingle throughout the show. One story-thread details the 36 hours from discovering that his baby has died, to the moment of his son's birth. In alternating scenes we also learn about the year following Calvin's death, and how the people in his life react to David and his partners Toni's grief.
David plays several characters, including his parents, brothers, an old friend and even his young niece. David's family feels discomfort in acknowledging what has happened. Their reluctance to talk openly about Calvin leaves David and Toni feeling confused and isolated. Only his niece, with the directness of children, breaks through this unease.
The segments which re-live the time Toni and David spent in hospital are painfully real. From David's confusion and inability to take on board the words the registrar was saying "What? What could be the matter? The truth was incomprehensible so I didn't even think of it", and the blur of dealing with many new and unexpected choices: "Suddenly we had one day to make a completely different set of decisions, decisions we never, in our worst nightmares, thought we'd have to make. See it? Name it? Hold it?", the scenes capture the bewilderment and devastation so many parents feel.
David's excellent performance is honest, direct and engaging. He connects with the audience in an understated way, but the power of the experience is very real. For bereaved and non-bereaved alike this extraordinary play touched the heart of a heartbreaking experience.

Precious Lives Painful Choices
Sherokee Ilse

"I'm sorry to say the prenatal tests indicate there is a problem with your baby." These are some of the most heartbreaking words prospective parents can ever hear.

As modern technology opens the window on the womb, more parents are in the position of having to make a decision to continue or end a pregnancy. Yet, little is written on the subject - until now. Precious Lives encourages parents to take a hard look at the medical, emotional, spiritual, and moral perspectives before they make their own painful choice about their precious baby's life. The book also offers support for the weeks and months ahead, along with many resources.

Sowing the Seeds of Hope
Betty Madill

The saddest headlines of all must be those that tell of yet another child who has died. No matter how often we are confronted by them they still cause us anxiety. However, since we do not know the child our life continues, nonetheless.

What happens when it is a child you know? What if it is a little boy, your little boy knew at playschool? What if you know the parents? What if you are the parent? How do they begin to cope? How do you? These are just a few of the questions faced by parents who have to bury their own child.

Betty Madill attempts to answer some of these questions. She knows at first hand, because she is a bereaved parent. Read how she managed to piece her life back together through a new found faith and the support of The Compassionate Friends.

The Compassionate Friends (TCF) and the butterfly are forever linked as, when the concentration camps were liberated at the end of the war, the children had left behind, etched onto walls, hundreds of butterflies. TCF has adopted the butterfly as a symbol of our lost children.
The butterfly is also a sign of new hope.

Soul Mates: Blessed by Little Angels
Cheryl Peachey

"January 5th 2001, was a day that will be stamped in my mind forever. For it was the day in which my dreams shattered into a million pieces at the devastating and innecessary loss of my beautiful angel son Keiryn.

It is only now, years later, that I am able to tell my story, and whilst I can never really forgive those involved for the mistakes made during my pregnancy, I am, with time learning to rebuild my life, so that I can remember Keiryn in a positive light, one which brings love and warmth whenever I talk about him and the impact he made on so many members of our family, friends and health professionals.

My deeply emotional roller coaster journey took me to the realms I never believed existed, and despite losing three of Keiryn's siblings as well. I know that I have grown from these setbacks both personally and spiritually.

And as I look back and recall how through gritty determination, I rallied for changes to the local hospital, there is no doubt in my mind that Keiryn's spirit lives on, for together we achieved those changes and now, whenever I look at my three beautiful live children, I am well aware that Keiryn has helped to rebuild my dreams and in doing so, has made me a much stronger person."

The Bereaved Parents Survival Guide
Juliet Cassuuto Rothman

This is a wise and compassionate guide through the difficult times that all parents face when they lose a child. It begins with the inner world of the bereaved parent and moves outward to consider relationships to others: to a spouse, to ones's other children, to relatives, friends, and acquaintances. It deals with some of the most painful decisions a bereaved parent must face, such as what to do with a child's belongings. It discusses memorials and remembrances, and the role of religion and spirituality in the life of bereaved parents.
Attention is paid to special problems, such as preinatal death, loss of an only child, violent death, and missing and kidnapped children, among others. The book concludes with a list of resources to which parents can turn for help.
Juliet Cassuto Rothman, Ph.D., LCSW, is a social worked and teacher who has worked with issues of dying, death and bereavement all her professional life. The loss of her son Daniel is beautifully recounted in her previous book, Saying Goodbye to Daniel, and in her children's book, A Birthday Present for Daniel.

Perspectives for Living
Bel Mooney

Perspectives for living is the book of two BBC series in which Bel Mooney interviews twelve people about the way one particular death affected their lives.

These conversations, each quite different, remind us powerfully that loss is both unique and universal, and that grief and love are two sides of the same coin.


The Bird of My Loving
Mary Sheepshanks

Having experienced loss and bereavement many times in her life, Mary Sheepshanks has written a sensitive and compassionate book for those undergoing similar tragedies. While her own life has shown her how to cope with tragedy, it has also brought a deep understanding of how to help others, and her profound humanity informs this remarkable book.

Unspeakable Losses
Kim Kluger-bell

This comforting and healing book is a must - not only for women who have at one time experienced pregnancy loss but also for their parents, sisters, daughters, brothers, and friends. Kim Kluger-Bells extensive fieldwork as a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of reproductive crises strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding pregnancy losses and abortions, giving new voice to these "unspeakable losses."

Filled with in-depth stories of those who have experienced losses and solid, practical advice without mourning rituals and services, Unspeakable Losses is a necessary companion to all those who have experienced pregnancy loss and those who care about them.


Death is Nothing at All
Cannon Henry Scott Holland

The message of comfort contained in this little book is one of the most inspired statements of hope and belief ever written. Millions of bereaved people over the years have drawn from its serenity, acceptance and the ability to face life and the death of a loved one, and for those wishing to convey sympathy but unable to find the right words, it says it all.

Now published for the first time as a book on its own, this beautiful piece of prose is perfectly complemented by delicate line drawings designed to enhance the thoughts expressed in the text. It is a volume that will be treasured.


Family
Susan Hill

The story of Susan Hill's fight to complete her family is the story of a journey through joy, disappointment, anguish and the bitterest grief.

Nevertheless Family will bring hope to thousands of women, for in the end it is a story of triumph and love.

 

If it Happens To You
Karina Colgan

When Karina Colgan was told that the baby she was carrying would die before birth, she was devastated by the news. She looked for a book describing 'in simple human terms' how other women feel in this situation. She wanted some insight into the emotions that were overwhelming her. Since she could not find anything that met her needs, Karina decided to fill the gap herself.

If it happens to you tells the story of Glen, Karina's stillborn son. Her husband, Gerry describes how he felt as a bereaved father, and Karina has talked to women from all walks of life who tell what happened and how they felt when they miscarried, or gave birth to a dead baby. The impact on the other children in a family, and on grandparents, is also explored.

As the Master of National Maternity Hospitals, Holles Street, Dr Peter Boylan, writes in the preface, 'This book is very welcome and indeed necessary... it allows readers to share the experience of others who have gone through a similar loss... it makes a valuable contribution.'

If it happens to you gives all who come into contact with the sadness of miscarriage or stillbirth a powerful insight into the experiences, feelings and needs of the families involved.


The Healing Journey Through Grief
Phil Rich

Like a knowing and sympathetic companion, this unique journal is designed to help you work through the painful emotions, thoughts, and memories that surface when you have lost someone dear to you.

Written by a professional counselor, this book supplies you with important information about grief and the grieving process. But, more importantly, it invokes the healing power of writing to provide you with a means for collecting your thoughts, sorting out your feelings, and taking an active part in your own recovery.


The Story of A Mother and her Seriously Ill Child - my angel
Jane Kohle

My Angel is a unique day by day account of the short but special life of Jordan, a little girl struck down by a rare and sadly incurable brain illness, and her mother's brave fight for emotional survival. With her child being treated in Great Ormond Street Hospital, Jane Kohle's story is one of strength, love and bravery in the face of loneliness and despair.

Author Jane Kohle opens up her personal diary in the hope that others in similar circumstances may gain comfort and strength to carry them through their own pain. For those in a similar position it is an invaluable companion, providing practical advice and emotional support.

For those more fortunate, it portrays a remarkable true story of the bravery and love of a devoted mother and child.


The Fruit of The Tree
Jacquelynn Luben

In Jacquelynn Luben's quest to have a family, she suffers the disappointment of miscarriage and the tragedy of cot death. She describes from personal experience the trauma and sadness of the loss of a child and the eventual return to happiness with the birth of another daughter.

The Fruit of the Tree is essential reading for bereaved parents. But also mothers who have successfully brought up families will identify with the feelings expressed in this moving book.

Missed Beginnings - Death before life has been established
June Jolly

When a baby is stillborn or dies shortly after birth the loss and grief experienced by parents, often shared by their close relatives and friends, is profoundly distressing. Similarly, the sense of loss accompanying miscarriage, which may be experienced by people who are unable to become parents, is also traumatic. Midwives and other health care professionals can play a major part in the support of all these clients.

In this sensitively-written and thoughtful book, June Jolly provides support for health care professionals working in this field, and discusses not only the needs of clients, but also the importance of inter-professional support and care.


Brief Lives - Parents writing about the death of a baby
The National Childbirth Trust

Writing about how they feel helps parents to grasp the reality of what has happened to them and to begin to understand their emotions. This is a important part of grieving. Bereavement is never easy but grieving for a baby is especially hard, because so often other people do not understand. They think that since there is less to remember when a baby dies, there must be less to grieve. However, as these stories show, it is the lack of memories that makes the grieving so hard.

The Bereaved Parent
Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

Is there any more tragic experience that a parent can suffer than the death of a child?

Bereaved parents often feel that no one can help them because no one they know has suffered the same loss. Harriet Sarnoff Schiff, whose ten-year-old son died, can offer genuine understanding because she has been through it herself, she knows as only another grieving parent can know, what it means to lose a child.

Yes, she tells her readers, the worst has happened to you. Nothing worse can happen. Yet you can, and you will, go on living; and although you almost certainly feel now that you can never come to accept what has happened and look to the future, you will. Everything you are feeling and going through now is normal - the grief, the guilt, the hopelessness, the quarrels with your partner, the panics, the horror of laughter.

With honesty and sympathy she helps parents to come through their dark time, not only from her own experience but from that of other bereaved parents and of psychiatric and religious counselors. Her book will help parents at any stage of anguish, and she also deals with the practical decisions and ordeals that have to be faced - the funeral, the question of a memorial, helping surviving children, rebuilding the marriage, coping with delayed reaction.

First published twenty years ago, The Bereaved Parent remains the most highly recommended book for parents seeking help and guidance at a time when their world seems to have fallen apart.

On The Death of a Child
Celia Hindmarch

When a child dies, whether from miscarriage, illness or accident, it is hard to know what to do and say to support grieving families. As well as doctors and nurses, there are many professionals who may be involved - teachers, social workers, police and clergy among others. For all their training a child's death can leave them feeling helpless and inadequate. Drawing on the experience of working with bereaved families at the Alder Centre in Liverpool, the author identifies helpful responses, protocols, guidelines and approaches to give more confidence to anyone dealing with the bereaved parents, grandparents, siblings and friends.


I Can't Find a Heartbeat
Mellisa Sexson Hanson

The sonogram image shook as Melissa Hanson convulsed with sobs. Agony seized the young would-be-mother. This baby had been a miracle, an answer to prayer. Now he "miracle baby" would never celebrate a single birthday.
Eight weeks into her first pregnancy and again at six weeks into her second, Melissa heard the doctor pronounce these fateful works. She's had a miscarriage. Her arms would remain empty. Her hopes shattered. Her dreams torn. Struggling to find comfort, Melissa searched for answers to the questions breaking her heart.
- What is God's perspective of the unborn?
- What does the Bible say about death?
- How can we trust God after personal tragedy?
Offering help and hope to all who've been touched by the loss of an unborn child, I Cant Find a Heartbeat is Melissa's story. Sharing he own deeply personal journey toward physical, emotional and spiritual healing, Melissa reveals how she survived and how her experience can help you.
Through heartwarming stories, nuggets of Scripture, and practical insights for healing, I Can't Find a Heartbeat invites all who are grieving the loss of an unborn child to sit at the feet of Jesus and allow Him to heal your broken heart.


Love, Labour & Loss
Jo Benson & Dawn Robinson-Walsh

For many parents the loss of a child through neonatal death or stillbirth is their first close encounter with bereavement but they often find there is inappropriate advice or counselling. With personal testimony from many who have experienced loss, this book gives positive and constructive help. It covers a range of common medical conditions that may contribute to stillbirth, the difficult problems of dealing with the loss of a child in intensive care and coping with the loss of babies for whom post-mortems could offer no satisfactory explanations.


Women In Mourning
Jean Clayton

Grief is not new to women. Men die and their wives weep, or cannot weep. There was Jackie Kennedy's shocked stillness in 1963 and more recently, Leah Rabin's tears, their husbands murdered and the eyes of the world on their agony. We read of Queen Victoria who after the death of her consort, Albert, insisted that his dinner suit be laid out for him every evening. There were strong women who journeyed westward with the wagon trains, noting in their diaries the many graves along the trail and weeping with those who wept and for their own dead.

In this outstanding book, Jean Clayton looks at the many griefs of many women from fetal death to widowhood to disability to divorce. She talks about death of children, older parents, chronic illness and career change. We look at feelings that come with all kinds of grief. Here is a book which reaches out, hugs you and then offers you a cup of good hot tea. Open the pages and meet the many women who share their stories.


Empty Cradle, Broken Heart
Deborah L. Davis

The heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death affects thousands of U.S. families every year. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt, and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. The book includes information on issues such as death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on "protective parenting" to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends, and other support persons can gain special insight. Most importantly, parents facing the death of a baby will find necessary support in this gentle guide. If reading this book moves you to cry, try to accept this reaction. Your tears merge with those of other grieving parents. You are not alone.

Living with Leo
Mario Di Clemente

Leo Di Clemente was born on the 27th of January 2003 and died the following day. But what an impact he had, and still does have to this day. He lived a brave, meaningful and special life. He touched people, the vast majority of whom never even got to meet him. Some have said that he changed and inspired them. Others feel that his short life and early death have taught them something. As for his parents, through all the pain and suffering caused by the loss of their fisrt child, they have somehow managed to believe that life is still worth living, that good memories will outlive the bad and that grief is not forever but love is.

Leo's father, Mario, has spent the year since his son's birth and death writing about his feelings, looking back in pain but also forward in hope. The result? Living with Leo. "This is a book", he tells us, "about Leonardo Di Clemente and my life with him. For in one very obvious way I am without Leo, in so many others we will be with each other forever."


Born Asleep
Susan Lynagh

Born asleep is my personal account of the unexplained stillbirth of my daughter Amy at 39 weeks gestation in April, 2002. She was my second child.

Losing my precious baby in this way was a deeply traumatic experience for me. A life-changing event that I knew I would need to document.

Writing this important account means that my memories of Amy will never fade with time, allowing me to share her story with future generations of my family.

It has given me the opportunity to share my journey with other bereaved parents, helping them to know they are not alone.

It has enabled me to convey the real human consequences of this public health tragedy in the hope of giving an insight to relevant health professionals.

It has also given me the opportunity to endorse Sands efforts to influence the medical and scientific professions to improve maternity care and research in our country. An issue which is now very close to my heart.

Finding Zoe
Paula Jackson

About the Author
Paula Jackson who lives in Guildford, Surrey worked as a children's nanny for over nineteen years. Paula looked after children, ages ranging from 3 months - 13 years old, and specialized in families with multiple births and special needs. In 2005 Paula decided on a change of direction and is now a Medical Receptionist.

Paula became involved in the work of the Meningitis Trust as the result of a life changing experience. As the consequences of that same experience in 1998 Paula founded 'Lean on Me'. "Lean on Me' is a phone link service that supports childcare workers when a child in their care becomes seriously ill or dies. "Lean on Me' is the first of it's kind in the country.

It was in January 2003, whilst visiting Australia, when Paula first heard of Zoe and Clive Gentle during a conversation with a mutual friend. That was to be a conversation that once again changed her life. On arrival back in England, Paula set out on the long and emotional journey to find out as much as she could about Zoe, a baby who had died over forty years before.

As a result of finding Zoe, Paula decided she wanted to do something positive in honour of Zoe and all the other children who have died. In July 2004, Paula with the support of the Military went on to establish The Friends of Aldershot Military Cemetery and the 'Brief Lives - Remembered' campaign.

This is an inspiring story about the search for baby Zoe, a twin who died at birth and whose brother in Australia finds peace forty years on, after steadfast endeavours of the author to mark Zoe's life and death, and a special bond that always exists between Twins.

Jo
Caroline Youde

Bang! The whole world changes around you because of a series of events. Jo is a personal account of the pain and grief suffered by Caroline Youde on the loss of her son. Not only did she lose her son, but also the ability to have any more children. However, despite all the suffering that Caroline and her husband went through, their attitude is remarkably positive, as the book evokes opportunities, happiness and continuation of life. This boom will pull emotions from deep inside, provoke thought about life and turn personal situations on their heads. It is a book to read once, reflect, and then read again, each time, noticing new pieces of description or detail which were missed before.


Where Did I Go Wrong? - A Mother's Story
Sarah Speake

"Where did I go wrong" is a personal account of the journey Sarah Speake has made since her daughter Amélie's unexpectedly early birth and subsequent death, a mere eleven days later.

Her experience altered the core of who she is irrevocably, and made her re-assess her priorities. This book details the agonies of Amélie's life in intensive care, and the emotional rollercoaster Sarah and her husband Martin have had to endure since.

"I have always been very positive, fun-loving and ambitious, but our experience with Amélie temporarily knocked my self-confidence and drove me to the brink of suicide, hence my decision to write this book. Seeing my story on paper has been a cathartic experience I am now ready to share, in the hope that it helps others understand the hardship of losing a child, which is sadly far more prevalent than I ever realised".

Sarah is now a proud mother of Josh, Amélie's younger brother, and delighted, if predictably scared, to be expecting her third child. Her story is one of hope, survival, determination and love.